Walhalla Soccer News and Commentary

Welcome to the place you can get up to speed on what is going on in the wonderful world of Razorback soccer as seen through the mind of a crazy person. Feel free to comment or email me with anything from articles, to pictures, to noteworthy items about the program. Hope you enjoy it.

2010 Walhalla High School Soccer Inf0

School: Walhalla
School No.: 1204
Class 2A
Conference: Region I-AA
Office: 151 Razorback Lane Walhalla SC 29691- Phone: (864) 638-4582
Coach: Michael Estes
Assist. Coach: Joshua Steele
Last Updated: 03/09/10

2010 Schedule

*All games on schedule are varsity games and start at 7:00 unless otherwise posted.

02/16 - Walhalla v. Pickens Scrimmage; 1-0
02/19 - Walhalla v. Alumni Game; 0-1
02/23 - Walhalla v. Christ Church Scrimmage; 3-3
02/26 - Walhalla @ Seneca Scrimmage; 2-0

03/05 - Byrnes Tournament
8:30 p.m. - Walhalla v. Blue Ridge; 0-2
03/06 - Byrnes Tournament
9:30 a.m. - Walhalla v. Eastside; 1-2
03/06 - Byrnes Tournament
(TBA) - Walhalla v. Wade Hampton; 0-3

03/18 (6:00) - Walhalla @ Abbeville
03/20 (12:00) - Pigs @ Christ Church
03/22 - Hogs v. Crescent
03/23 - Hogs v. Seneca
03/24 - Hogs @ Pendleton
03/26 - Hogs @ West Oak
03/29 - Hogs @ Emerald
03/31 - Hogs v. Seneca
04/01 - Hogs @ Palmetto

04/07 - Palmetto Cup
10:00 a.m. - Hogs v. Wand0
04/08 - Palmetto Cup
2:00 p.m. - Hogs v. Fort Mill
04/09 - Palmetto Cup
10:00 a.m. - Hogs v. Chapin
04/10 - Palmetto Cup (TBA)

04/19 - Hogs v. Abbeville
04/21 - Hogs @ Crescent
04/23 - Hogs v. West Oak
04/26 - Hogs v. Pendleton
04/28 - Hogs v. Palmetto
04/30 - Hogs v. Emerald

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Christ Church 6, Walhalla 0

Sabotage at "The Beach"

As I bit into one of Mrs. Vivaldo's delicious homemade tamales before our contest with Christ Church Wednsday night, the thought occurred to me that something just wasn't right. The thought was born and then it just started bouncing around in my empty skull like an HGH enhanced pinball. Was that sweet person who handed me this heavenly treat the same person who lovingly raised Hiraldo and nursed him to health after being born at a birth weight of a mere 2.78 pounds by mixing in Mexican delights with her already creamy Mother's milk? Or was she a secret agent, a perfect look-alike (except for the huge mole with the long hair growing out of it just below her right eye) who had been hired by Christ Church and their evil minions to lock Mrs. Vivaldo in the broom closet and then sabotage her tamales by injecting them with a personality altering drug known in scientific circles as "Mr. Hyde?" This is the only plausible way to explain what 228 loyal fans witnessed last night at "The Beach."

Being in essence, completely lobotomized by the fast-metabolizing (evidenced by the fact that the evil drug took effect only 15 minutes into the match), "Mr. Hyde," the boys played the last 60 minutes of the all important contest like drunken sailors whose legs had just touched land for the first time in six months. Where were the ravenous wild boars we had come to know and love? They were trapped I tell you! Trapped inside the prison of their own minds! I actually had several of the players come up to me 15 minutes after the game was over and say in perfect monotone, looking like children of the corn, "coach, I just had the strangest dream that we have already played Christ Church and got annihilated on our own field." From that point on it was as if I was trying to explain to Rip Van Winkle that people don't use horse and buggy any more and that there are these new fangled things called automobiles, and that we no longer have to send messages via pony express or telegraph but that we use what is called a computer and can communicate through the world wide web. Such looks of incredulity as I told them they had just got done playing and that they looked about as dexterous as a new born deer trying to walk on ice. I saw young Eli Cothran lean his head over to the side and bang on it as if he were trying to get gravel out through his down turned ear. Daniel Guinn was just holding his shoe in his hands, whispering something to it and staring at it as if it contained a secret message inside.

As the lights went out, allowing the blackness of the surrounding night to flood into the air floating in the sphere over what we now refer to as "the beach" I could almost hear Rod Serling's eerie voice bouncing around in the stands saying "and this concludes another episode of.......the twilight zone." Somewhere in a smoky, sweaty room, the pseudo-Mrs. Vivaldo was reaching out a filthy hand accepting the spoils of her labor while the real Mrs. Vivaldo was yelling, "somebody better get me out of this closet or there's going to be hell to pay. Hera! Hera! Did you hear me Hera! You get me outta here or you won't eat for a week!"

A word of warning. We will be back Christ Church. And next time we meet, you will wish you never heard the name of Walhalla Razorbacks. We will be sharp. We will be foaming at the mouth. And in the words of the great Mike Tyson (add lisp in your mind), "We will eat your childrens." Till then I bid you adieu.

js

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