Palmetto and Mauldin Cup review

Growing Pains

When a hermit crab gets too large for its shell, it searches around for a new one to accomodate its size. It tries on a few different ones and walks around in them until it finally settles on something that feels good and that he can grow into for a while. This season has been the year of the hermit crab for your Walhalla Razorbacks. We've gotten too big for our shell, but we are taking an unusually long time to pick another one to live in. Or maybe it's the year of the high maintenance woman. You know, the one who's getting ready for a date that has too many clothes to choose from. While she's rummaging around in her closet the size of most peoples living rooms looking for the perfect shoes to set off her earrings, Estocrates sits out in his gargantuan truck, his stomach rumbling, honking his horn. Of course, he was ready when he pulled on his shorts and put on his t-shirt at 6:00 a.m. I think we're getting close to picking the perfect ensemble though. It's sort of a Sid Vicious meets Hector "Macho" Camacho motif. Hopefully we can pull it off in time to get to Puerto Nuevo before they lock the doors.

Palmetto Cup 09(April 8th - 11th)

Here's a run-down of the teams that were in it:
(from the State)
"The 16-team field featured Midlands entries host Brookland-Cayce, defending champion Spring Valley, Lexington, Sumter and late-entry Chapin. The out-of-state contingent includes familiar Cup visitor Norman North (Oklahoma), first-time entry Bob Jones (Alabama) and two Tennessee powerhouses – Farragut and Knoxville West.
The rest of the lineup includes Top 10 South Carolina teams from Wando, Eastside, Riverside, North Myrtle Beach, Christ Church, Southside Christian and Walhalla.

John Devlin from "The State" newspaper said in his write up before the tournament: "The 17th annual Palmetto Cup boys soccer tournament, deemed the No. 1 spring boys tournament in the Southeast by Student Sports, opens play Wednesday with eight matches at three sites in the Cayce-West Columbia area. "

The first day Walhalla played host Brookland-Cayce in a match we should have run away with, but instead lost 5-4 at "The Cage," which was the tournaments showcase field. The Bearcats scored all 5 of their goals on set plays and three of those came off throw-in's taken by a kid they referred to as Shao-lin Sam. He had done so many flip throws that at the end of the game he tried to get on the bus with us. I think his brain did a few flips.

The second day we played Farragut High School out of Knoxville Tennessee. This is off their own websight:

"FARRAGUT BOY'S SOCCER 2009 Welcome to the boys Farragut soccer website, home to one of the most successful boys soccer programs in the nation. The boys team have been State champions in 2003, 2004 and 2007. In 2004 they were recognized as the National Champions. The team is coached by Wallie Culbreth (head coach) and Kurt Backstrom (asst coach). Congratulations to the following soccer players who will be representing Farragut for the 2009 season GO ADMIRALS!"

I don't think we had one guy taller than their shortest player. Their center midfielder was 6'5". In fact, he was so tall that Jorge was able to give a graphic description of his belly button after the game. He said it was like a perfect cinnamon roll and that it made him hungry for some of those honey buns they have at Ryans. Most teams in the state would have just layed down in the fetal position and sucked their thumbs at the mere sight of these monsters. Instead, we only lost 1-0 and it should have been a nil-nil draw except in his excitement over a great header by Napoleonito, Cody tried to tussle his Mohawk and unknowingly got a glove full of Dapper Dan which led to him letting a simple ball slide through his finger-tips.

Our next match didn't get any easier when we took on the Barbarians from Alabama's 4th ranked Class 6A Bob Jones High School. We owned the second half of this contest and tied the game up, 2-2, on a classic goal from Alex Cruz with about 10 minutes remaining. But alas, we let down our guard with 30 seconds to go and allowed the game winner in an absolute heart-breaker. Christian Romero, on loan from our might J.V. team scored the first goal for the Razorbacks. We lost our last game to Christ Church 2-o in a match we dominated from start to finish. One thing we can say though: we were the best 0-4 team to ever play in the Palmetto Cup. Comforting I know. That's like saying, "that was the strongest house ever to get blown down in a wind storm." But hey, sometimes you just have to look on the bright side. In all seriousness however, as your Razorbacks slowly made their way off the field after losing to Bob Jones, the Bob Jones crowd gave them a standing ovation. One guy yelled out, "you guys are a bunch fighters!" Yeah, but we sure do hit the canvas a lot. Well, hopefully we can get Mick to "cut us" so we can see out of our left eye, beat Apollo Creed for the state title, and then have enough wits about us to ask Adrian where her hat is.

Mauldin Cup 09 (April 17th and 18th)

What was supposed to be a 12 team blockbuster of a tournament turned into a 5 team dog-and-pony show over the weekend because of having to reschedule the event due to rain. Even though the games were cut to a ridiculous 20 minutes-a-half format, your Razorbacks blitzkrieged the old onion bag for 8 goals in 80 minutes against the first two teams (Greenville Technical High School and Blue Ridge) the opening day, to put themselves in the final on Sunday as the number one team against 3A power Greenville High School. One paper described Walhalla as, "an inflamed hemorrhoid on steroids on the backsides of much bigger schools that just couldn't be scratched" in their write up of the days games. I thought that was a little over-the-top, but we'll take it as a compliment. We need all we can get, especially after coming out Sunday and laying an egg against a Greenville team we should have beaten. The final score...1-0. Anti-climactic...to be sure. Oh well, this week we get to go beat Abbeville and Crescent, infinity to negative 10. Maybe it'll boost our self esteem. Maybe we'll be able to come out of the walk-in closet and be satisfied that we just can't fit into a 2, and that red isn't our most flattering color. Maybe we'll look into the mirror and in the great words of Stewart Smalley be able to look ourselves in the eye and say, "By golly, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and people like me." Then maybe we'll decide on some shoes (maybe some lime green or pink Nike's), strap 'em on, and go enjoy a few quesadillas with the irate man honking his horn outside.

Come out tonight and watch Walhalla vs. the opposite goal at 7:00 P.M. Should be a classic!

j