Walhalla, 1; Walhalla, 0

Walhalla gets K.O.ed by its own shadow



Everyone knows that the only time it is dangerous to shadow box is in a gale force wind storm because if the wind happens to come from the southwest at 21.3 miles per hour it creates the perfect conditions for ones shadow to actually detach itself and deliver an actual blow that has the potential of knocking the shadow's actual self out. Estocrates knew this when Walhalla, which actually rented out Seneca's soccer pitch because of maintenance to its own field, entered into the game with it's own quite formidable shadow Monday night... and it didn't sit well on his stomach. He had seen what is called in scientific terms, "Unexpected-blow-to-the-head-from-a-non-material-object-in-the-general-shape-of-one's-self syndrome" occur one other time in his life. The painful memory lacerated him to the core and has haunted him ever since.

Monday night, the powers-that-be pored lemon juice on the old wound and sent the mighty Estocrates howling like a half-crazed wolf in search of her lost cub into the eerie night while his bewildered players scurried around the pitch trying to recapture the shadow and reconnect it to themselves before the clock struck midnight, dooming them forever to playing soccer without it. At 11:58 Jesse Cortez, who had lost his shadow before on one of his nightly trips to neverland where he ran spy missions for Peter Pan to discover the secret plans of Captain Hook, snagged the purple pig's shadow by the toe and wrestled it into submission while Backi Mestizo, with his nimble little fingers, quickly sewed it back onto the rest of the exhausted team just before midnight.

Estocrates showed up at his house a day later with holes on either side of his forehead that had been crudely sewed shut and the words "Cephus nose branes" scrawled primitively on his noble brow. According to his saintly wife, Laura, "he was noticeably calm and collected. As soon as he walked in the door he gave me a kiss on the cheek and then started cleaning the house and cooking. Oh, and did he cook! It was like Wolfgang Puck had walked through the door! He made Asiago-stuffed dates with Bacon and smoked paprika; Asian noodle salad with shrimp; asparagus, fingerling potatos and goat cheese pizza; baby greens with artisinal cheeses and charcuterie; and to top it all off, for dessert he whipped up some caramel-apple tartlets with cinnamon-rum ice cream. Then later on that night he started craving sushi, which he hates, and reciting haiku that he had composed for me off the top of his head. One was so touching. It went something like this:

April Visions

Hyacinth breeze blows,
Scenting your hair strands yellow.
Undulating grass.

How romantic is that?"

"He then blindfolded himself and proceeded to quote Shakespeare while making a Michealangeloesque sculpture of my face. I'm writing Cephus' name in the next time I vote for president. He could change the world with his cutting edge techniques."

To be sure, Estocrates is a revitalized human being. He now sees the loss to his own shadow as a positive molecule in the cosmic array of events shaping his hogs. Tonight, we will go on the road to Columbia where we play our first match of the Palmetto Cup. And as always, we will have all our senses open and ready to recieve more clues in our search for the key to all that exists. Wish us luck.

j