Alumni Game tonight at 7:00

A to B and Everything in Between

Some people talk of going from "point A" to "point B" when making goals in life. They are ordinary mortals. For the Hogs, we must go from "Point A," a lesser dimension known also as "prepubescent JV Zone," to "point A.A," a dimension more aptly described as "Class 2A, region I-AA," to "point A.A-STATE," a dimension between dimensions sometimes equated with nirvana, which will then shoot us to "point A.A-A," or "Dimension Class 3A," in the hopes of someday, after accomplishing a plethora of other herculean tasks including the addition of a sky-cam to the beach, get us to "Point B," which is actually a planet called Nebiru, or Planet X for you lay people. This journey is what Estocrates refers to in his NY Times best seller, "Peanut Butter: It's What's Between the Bread That Counts," as "treading on rice paper." For you cynics out there, no, he did not get that concept from Kung Fu. He actually lived Kung Fu and the real life story that inspired the t.v. show. David Carradine, the actor who played Estocrates' older metaphorical self, sitting in the directors chair barefoot while on set during the third episode, "Take the Pebble From My Hand," said of Esto, who was only 13 at the time, "For someone this young to have a t.v. drama of his life and the future he is yet to live speaks volumes about the depth of his character." Yes, and so does the fact that Esto sat Indian style in a cave up in Pisgah National forest for two whole months prior to this season without food or water, in preparation for the final push to point A.A-State...the dimension where titans clash. NPR's newest yet most seasoned reporter, Ron Burgandy, best known for his work interviewing the great Estocrates, and for his pioneering work as a news anchor in San Diago during the
70's, sat down yesterday with the ever-exuberant Estocrates at his manor in Northwest Walhalla to discuss with him the Alumni game to be played tonight and the upcoming season. What follows is the official transcript of their rivetting conversation:

Ron Burgandy (RB): Hola Senior.

Esto: Hola?

RB: You've lived and you've loved, but tell me Mike, where does your unbridled and omniscient passion lie, now that you've been to the top of Everest and seen the world from the Pope's perspective?

Esto: Hmmm, that's quite a dramatic question there Ron, but I'll answer it the best I can. First of all, you can never reach the top of a game that is always evolving. So I don't know if that part of your question is relevant. However, as far as passion goes, it's where it always has been: seeing players reach their full potential in the game, and as men.

RB: Since you mentioned evolution, don't you think that it would be easier to just get a degree in robotics and form the perfect player out of steel, wire and brawn? Then you could put your passion into film-making, or MMA or something. You would be a beast in the cage.

Esto: I guess I didn't reach the ultimate place of patience in my cave retreat this winter. You drive me nuts Ron. I just told you my passion is developing players. Why would I want to build a robot you buffoon?

RB: Wow....you really are a passionate giant Mike. There's something that puzzles me about you though. Why would you want to build robots that would take away these poor players jobs and probably consequently cause their families to starve without an income? It doesn't make sense Mike.

Esto: You've got to be kidding me right? You're joking right, Burgandy? These are high school players. They don't get payed for this. They do it for fun you idiot!

RB: Hmmm. Agree to disagree? Now, on to the topic at hand. When you take the field tonight against the decrepit and ever-wrinkling alumni squad, will you be employing your usual strategy of breaking some one's leg right out of the gate to send a message that the Hog's ain't to be messed with?

Esto: I've never employed such a strategy and never will. We rely on skill, teamwork and heart to defeat our opponents.

RB: So you will be using goon tactics to completely demoralize an already downtrodden group of men that were never able to accomplish their dreams as soccer players? Is that really the zen thing to do Mike?

Esto: Again, I want to make it clear for the record that we have never used these kinds of tactics and that we respect and honor the former players we will take the field with tonight. Is that clear Burgandy?

RB: So would you say, "When in Rome?"

Esto: I wish you'd go to Rome and stay there.

RB: So there you have it folks. A man intent on destroying everything in his path with his purple marauders disguised as a traveling family band. A pied piper piping a tune of wanton violence and Machiavellian policy in the futile pursuit of the coveted Palmetto state title. Thanks for your time and I wish you and your team all the success you so richly deserve. Great Oden's Raven! Steakhouse is about to close. Sorry to run. Bye now.

The Razorbacks will storm the beach at 7:00 tonight for a friendly with the Walhalla Alumni team in an attempt to avenge the loss they suffered to the alumni in last years contest. Come out and enjoy a taste of the past, the present and the future as you continue to faithfully support Walhalla High School soccer.

J

PS. Totally random video clip. This video shows that Diego Maradona is the only man in the world who deserves to wear pants this tight. Feast on the feats of the greatest to ever play the game!