2010 Try-outs

The Great Pinata Fiasco

For this season's theme Coach Mike "Estocrates" Estes, otherwise known in his days playing professional soccer in Brazil as simply, "Esto," has chosen the word, "unconventionalism," from his huge bag of motivational vocabulary words. To kick off this radical idea, or what would be more appropriately called an ideal, with a bang, we hired a huge crane to show up at our field yesterday at 3:30 to suspend a jumbo tron-sized and shaped pinata, which would display the score of our last game with Emerald on it. The idea was that in order to find the players with the most desire we would select the sixteen players, after depriving them of food and water for three days, with the most candy in their sacks at the end of the free-for-all. No rules, just have at it.

Unfortunately, on the way to the field the driver of said crane, Mr. Gettys Cobb, stopped at Last Chance and had a few too many Natty lights resulting in a horrifying wreck at the intersection of Catherine and Main street where the unsecured pinata smashed into the stop light and broke open, scattering more candy than the Shriner's on Christmas day. This resulted in absolute pandemonium descending on our little village. There is now a severe milk, eggs and bread shortage at Ingles and some are saying that this could be the worst disaster since the Exxon Valdez spilled black gold into the ocean off the coast of Alaska. Too much sugar in the blood stream of the population can have dire consequences. Anyway, since our scheme was a total surprise and we had told no one about it, and because the driver was so drunk he couldn't remember his own name and therefore forgot who had ordered his services, the fiasco couldn't be traced to us and we have luckily retained our jobs as coaches. And since no one reads this blog I think it's safe to relay the story.

Needless to say, we had to scrap the whole theme for the season and revert back to the more conventional method of just having the players play soccer and whatnot. Not very creative, but hopefully we'll be able to locate sixteen winners who will take us to the coveted state title and get us back on the path of finding the key to all that exists. I'll update you on who makes the team and of any and all ensuing shenanigans that await us in our quest for enlightenment and decent fast food. Oh, and if any of you need 20 t-shirts that say "UNCONVENTIONAL" on the back, let me know.

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