Alumni Game 2010

OSLAP

I told you that we were to play an alumni game last Friday evening. Sorry, I lied, unless the definition of Alumni is: a group of hired mercenaries with no national loyalties, giving out their black services to the highest bidder. James Powell, who played in the game, was quoted as saying, "I swear I didn't recognize one of those guys." As everyone knows, just as Haiti is the main hub for the distribution and filtering of cocaine to the rest of the world, Walhalla is the hub for trafficking ex-Mexican national team soccer players to teams that need a little more "skill" on the field. It's been going on for years right under our noses, but now it comes to our own field, and it has made us bleed our own blood. And you thought Walhalla was only a hub for the best fish tacos (Puerto Nuevo rocks!) on the eastern seaboard. Those curious pictures of Brook Scott and Glen English with Dick Chenney in a poppy field are beginning to make more and more sense.

There is the government that we see, a group of smiling puppets that are nothing more than actors on a stage given scripts on teleprompers that tell them what to say and when to pause. There is also a "Shadow Government," an entity that rules from secret places that extends its dark fingers of invisible power to obscure places across the globe in an attempt to consolidate control over the whole planet onto the plates of a very elite few. You may have heard some of their names bandied about from time to time, names that send shivers down the spine. Names like Rockefeller and Rothschild. Elite groups like the Bilderbergers, the Bohemian Club and the Trilateral Commision. These groups and families sit atop the pyramid. They have agendas, and those agendas must be carried out by someone. That is where we come face to face with Scott and English and the organization they were inducted into in the early 70's after being successfully used as lab rats for the government's sinister MK Ultra program that sought to use psychotropics and hypnotism to program CIA and MI6 operatives to become walking WMD, fully capable of carrying out even the most preposterous sounding schemes, all designed ultimately for the take-over of the entire world. These schemes are referred to as "Black Ops," and your Walhalla Razorbacks have been the target of one particular "black op" for some time now.

"Operation Squeel Like a Pig," or "OSLAP," not to be confused with Backy Mestizo's favorite phrase, "Oh shnap," is something the CIA has had in the planning stages ever since Esto took over the coaching duties at Walhalla. The mastermind behind the plan is none other than the infamous Henry Kissinger, a proponent of eugenics, and the architect of many other "black ops," such as the Bay of Pigs and Gulf of Tonkin Affair. The success of the plan hinges on effectively planting MK Ultra trained coaches into the realms that Razorback soccer is played so as to create havoc and nullify any enlightenment that the people who watch, and those who we play against might recieve. "Estoccer," the brand of soccer invented by Estocrates after a 40 day fast upon the dunes of the great Sahara desert, when played in a state of Nirvana, is known to break the shackles of media spun government propaganda and hollywood brainwashing in peoples minds, and set them free to see the truth of what is really going on in the world. Imagine what would happen if too many minds were set free. The elite's spell would be broken and they would lose everything they have worked so hard to attain over the last thousand years. It is clear now that the hiring of the dubious "alumni" team, the use of Patriot Act cell phone tapping and weather altering technologies in an attempt to get the Razorbacks down and off their game, therefore squelching the Nirvana experienced by their fans and opponents alike, are all part of the Kissinger crafted, but so-far fruitless, OSLAP (Operation Squeel Like a Pig) plan.

Yes, we lost the so-called "alumni game" Friday night 1-0. However, what English and Scott and their devious programmers have yet to understand, and will never understand, is that Estoccer goes beyond the numbers to the essence of all that exists. They thought that by the hogs losing, that our shackle-breaking essence would be sapped, therefore rendering our mind-bending game powerless in setting people free. They don't understand that the game itself is "the game," and that the essence is released when each game is played beautifully, which even in defeat the Hogs did.

Tonight at 6:00 we will play Estoccer against the crusaders from Christ Church who beat us twice last season. Come out and get your fix. You won't regret it.

J